A. A. A. D. D. - Classic Retirement Syndrome

One of the crazy things I have discovered since retirement, is I still try to organize and plan things. While I lie in bed in the morning, just as I am getting ready to get up to start my day, I talk to myself and plan out what I want to accomplish. Then I get up with every intention of executing what I had so carefully planned out on my mental list. 

However the reality is that on my mental list I had planned on only cleaning the guest bedroom and both bathrooms.  But when I began dusting the guest bedroom, I thought, “Well it’s a better use of my time since I am dusting anyhow to dust the whole house.”  Then I notice the floors in the hallway are also in need of cleaning, so I decide while I have out the stuff I might as well do all of the floors. And so it goes until I come to the end of the day and you guessed it, I ended up cleaning the entire house.

It is now very late in the day, and I find I’m very tired.  I then complain to BFF Hubby that I’m really tired, to which he replies, “You need to get in retirement mode.”  “What the heck does that even mean?” I ask.  So BFF hubby explains patiently to me it means that it doesn’t all have to be done in one day! Hmm, interesting theory, which explains his ability to stay up late, sleep in, and do absolutely nothing if he so chooses, interesting as I think to myself, he just might have something here. 

So I agree with BFF Hubby and say, “You’re right!”  I mean after all he has been retired for the last three years, so he must have this perfected. My little sister gave me advice; she tells me she calls it “Patti Time.”  My Mother-in-law's advice was to remember there is always tomorrow.  I think when I was in the regular world, pre-retirement, we used to call that last one procrastination.

This “retirement mode” sounds much easier than it actually is. I think it’s that old habits have to be unlearned and changed. When you are working, you have a limited amount of time to accomplish everything that needs to be done, and in the past, I always had to clean the entire house in one day. Well that’s not entirely true; the reality was that I had a house cleaner.  It had been over 10 years since I actually cleaned my house; <grin> no wonder I became overwhelmed with the simplest tasks.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I decided to look upon these old learned habits as an opportunity to purge, to rethink my priorities and to be intentional about starting new habits.  Ha, like sleeping in, or at least not hopping out of bed at 4:30 am every morning like the Energizer Bunny.  I decided retirement was my time to make my “new normal” and hey I figure I can make it any way I want it to be, there just doesn’t appear to be any rules!  WOW I love the big fresh start; the clean slate that retirement affords me.  I love the idea that I can get up every morning and start over any way I choose.

After all of this self-discovery I read a humorous article/ joke on the internet, and as with everything you find on the internet, I have no idea who to credit.  It was just so perfect, and it made me laugh so I decided to share it on my blog, not to mention it reminded me ahem, of a few people I know.

It appears there is a new disease called A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. 

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking. 

 I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered.  I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.  

I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the TV remote, I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.  Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail. PS. I just remembered, I left the water running...

Oh dear, I think I may be in trouble, better phone the doctor right away, I may have that syndrome.  Now where, oh where, did I put that phone?

Stay with me, as we traverse through this retirement journey, or as I like to refer to it “my longest coffee break."  I'm just sayin’…