I recently watched a movie on pay per view, which I must confess I had never heard of, but as I was perusing what was on, I read the blurb on the movie “Last Word” starring Shirley McClain: Harriet is a retired businesswoman who tries to control everything around her. When she decides to write her own obituary, a young journalist takes up the task of finding out the truth resulting in a life-altering friendship. I thought this sounds different.... so I decided why not.
As I watched
the movie I found myself loving and admiring the successes of the crusty old
woman-who was estranged for over 20 years from her daughter, and had split with
her husband. She was a woman way ahead
of her time. Harriet not wanting to leave anything to chance, decided that she wanted
her obituary to be under her control as well. She hired an obituary writer from the local
newspaper. She then gave the writer a list of 100 people, the restaurants they
liked to eat at and where they should be interviewed. Needless to say not one
of them had anything nice to say about her, and thus refused to say anything at
all to the frustrated writer.
This of course makes Harriet angry, and after one night of
pondering, she solves this problem as she did everything in her life, hitting
it head on. She determined in a good obituary there were 4 key elements and
therefore she resolved that she would change her life to include those 4 key
elements. I found it delightful, I laughed and I cried, and yes you guessed it
(Grin)…..I went there! As I thought to myself, hmmm good blog topic or not? I
bet you’re saying Oh No, where are her irreverent ramblings headed with this
one? (Me too Grin).
I questioned
myself, should I dwell on the obituary part, or the fact that it is never too
late to change our lives? And then AHA….a strange (well not so strange for me
Grin) thought popped into my head and I wondered if I died tomorrow, perish the
thought, what would my obituary say? As
Mark Twain said: We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest
selves until we are dead — and not then until we have been dead years and
years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much
earlier. (Wise man that Mark Twain-Grin)
As I thought
about this (for a whole second), I contemplated whether or not this was a morbid
topic? I quickly concluded-nope not for
me. As I age I find myself wondering about the oddest things, and this movie
made me laugh and accept this as a reality of our life. And I pondered do
people chose to ignore the obituaries, or read them, and do they look through
the annual “Lives they lived” in the times magazine where I remembered reading once
about a female spy in World War II (back when I could tolerate the Times Grin),
and about the man whose name inspired the rock band Lynard Skynard. I challenge you to imagine it for a while
And so I
wondered if I died tomorrow—perish the thought it’s not happening anytime soon—what
qualities and virtues would my eulogy or obituary mention? Would it say that I
was a good parent, a good wife or daughter, a lively and loving person?
Hmm a
strange thing to contemplate your saying and how morose, NOT…. I am quite sure
it has crossed your mind at some point in your life, if not it will. I wondered what my family and friends would
say about me….would they say I was a Dreamer-might they say something like: An
eternal dreamer passed away recently, no doubt in the midst of deep
contemplation. In her final days, just like as in her life, she was surrounded
with her thoughts and unlimited sense of curiosity. A lifelong dreamer, the
world as is was never enough for her. She spent her entire time on this planet
thinking of what could and what should be. If it was possible to dream it, she
dreamt it. Her memory will live on in the thoughts and dreams she shared with
all those lucky enough to be a part of her life." We flow, we descend, and
we turn….and the eternal dreamer moves amongst us like light…..and nope….
that’s not it (Grin)
Perhaps they
would say: She was an incredibly talented artist whose creations will far
outlive her time alive, passed away recently. A life filled with achievement
and controversy, she was never one to shy away from scandal or an unpopular
opinion. She publicly shunned the spotlight yet secretly enjoyed the attention.
Her art will live on and she will be dearly missed by all those lucky enough to
be close to her." (Yeah Yeah…
that’s the one-NOT)
The reality
I’m sure would read more like this: It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I
have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that's simply
not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn't get
things my way! That's been the story of my life all my life. (Grin)
So as I
searched for what the experts had to say I found it actually hysterical that there
were quizzes online to help you answer this question, seriously they are really
there. I found one that said “Wake up call: Write your own obituary.” (Grin) that may be the safest way, which is
what Harriet thought.
We all want
to be remembered for something, to be known as more than merely ordinary, to be
seen as someone who truly made a difference. We want to leave an imprint on
this world and to leave behind something that can make the future a little
brighter. From the time when we were kids, we were told that we were special
and were destined for something wonderful, that we could take the world by the
horns and that whatever we set our minds to we could accomplish, that it’s our
world and what we choose to do with it was up to us.
I believe we
all have roles we play in our lives, to be a good mother, daughter, friend, cousin sister, niece,
etc., but it’s how we project these roles that makes all the difference. If we
really try and really want it, I believe we can actually change the world. I
know that I have eluded to this before and maybe it’s the hippie gene in me,
but I truly believe we can make or break our own story.
Here are a
few thing you might want to ponder on this subject -if you dare (Grin):
·
What
would you like your legacy to be?
·
What
would you like to achieve during your lifetime?
·
What
would you regret if you didn’t do it? Or try it?
·
What
would you be proud you had done, attempted or achieved?
·
If
you were thinking about yourself late in life, looking back on your life what
are the things that matter the most?
And is typical for me, here is this
bloggers take away on this subject matter: Our time on earth is limited. We all know this, yet
for some reason we generally push it to one side. We get caught in the trap of
believing there are infinite tomorrows, when it simply isn’t the case. We are
here for a short time, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t leave a big legacy.
And by big, I don’t mean famous or visible, but a legacy that makes a
difference to you or someone in your life in some way.
And as I get to the back half of my life, if I
were to detect that I had played it safe because I was too afraid to fail, I
would be extremely disappointed and angry with myself. The only way we know if life
has a chance of moving in a certain direction is if we are daring enough to
take the risk. I know for sure I won’t ever regret taking risks.
I would hope
that my children and grandchildren felt that they were loved unconditionally,
and that I did the very best I could to support them and make them feel they
could do and be whatever they wanted and comforted them when it all felt a
little too hard. My hope is that when I look back, well… my husband will feel I
did a damn good job at being a wife.(Grin) It is my humble opinion that it’s the
relationships that matter the most in our lives. They are the things that
breathe life into our world. As I look
back I hope that I had strong work ethics and I was a dedicated business woman,
and my children and grandchildren saw that and I set a good example for them,
and I was always a true and loyal friend. (A girl can dream can’t she?)
As each day passes I am more aware that each action and conscious decision I make in my
life brings me one step closer to a future that I can look back on and be proud
of. So I believe, as Harriet did
in the’ Last Word’, that you can rewrite who and what you are. So I encourage myself and you to please use
your strengths well, they are the keys to your purpose and your successes in
life. Once you begin to really know yourself you are able to take action to
realize your dreams, you perhaps (it could happen) will be able to unlock the doors to your
own potential. Our lot changes with our thoughts; we will become what we wish to
become, do what we wish to do, all when our routine beliefs correspond with our
deepest desires. And hey-this hippie really thinks that destiny is for losers, it’s just an excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen. (Grin) Life is a game, play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, Capture it.
And as Mark
Twain said: Let us endeavor to live that when we come to die even the
undertaker will be sorry. (That's my wish).
