I have been absent as a blogger for a few months because I
made a commitment to a club. Wow, did it become like a job! Phew, it’s over. I
did have some fun, but for the most part not so much. Will I do it again? Most
emphatically not. It was this experience accompanied with this year’s political
environment that helped me land on this month’s Blog topic. I was constantly
asking myself when did people forget how to be nice to one another and
respectful of differences of opinion? It
boggles my mind. I searched back in time and wondered when it became OK for
people to engage in open confrontations and name calling with one another,
regardless of where they are and what the topic may be? After reading all the political rhetoric not
just generated by the news media, but by my friends and associates on Facebook,
I decided this was a very worthwhile topic.
It seems that how we treat one another today, is due to the
changes in our culture, brought about by social media, the constant barrage of
news with smart phones, news banners, and TV’s 24-hour news. It is this blogger’s
humble opinion that people feel more anonymous, in particular with social media,
so this makes them feel freer to attack another person. Sort of like rude
drivers who do things in a car they would never do to you in person. It seems
to be accepted and OK to be mean spirited to one another. I have observed people
who are neighbors, friends, and family vehemently attacking each other over a difference
of opinion of a political candidate, or anything for that matter that does not
align with how they think. It feels wrong to me to do so with people we claim
to really care about, or call a friend.
In discussing our differences, particularly our political opinions, well
I must tell you it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, as if it is a
threat to the relationship. This is the case if I am in the discussion or
observing it. So as usual for me, I went
off in search of what the experts have to say about all of this.
It seems the experts tell us that Democrats and Republicans
have become like a couple with marriage problems. They have become enemies, and
the political speeches denigrate into an opportunity to malign and misinterpret
the opponent. Ok, yeah we see that. <Grin> It certainly makes a whole lot
of sense to me, particularly since we are a nation of TV viewers, that we would
be influenced by this antagonism, as it is modeled by our leaders and rebounded
by media commentators. And unfortunately, it seems to trickle down into our personal
political discussions between our friends and family. It seems we are influenced so much by this that
the over-heated posturing with belittling of differing viewpoints has become a
cultural norm when talking about politics or anything that is in opposition to
our viewpoint.
I know many of us may enjoy watching a TV commentator on Fox,
CNN, or the mainstream media, portraying a dismissive attitude towards a fellow
commentator, or a candidate we don’t like.
However it is rarely appealing from a friend, coworker, or family
member. A political sneer in real life, vis-a-vis your opposing political view,
does not ever win the argument but may ultimately cost you a friend or loved
one.
The psychology experts tell us that typically in healthy
dialogue, the person listens to better
understand the others perspective, normally resulting in gaining new
information and hopefully a consensus ending with a creative solution. This causes both sides to develop negative feelings towards
each other. The word “but” erases what
others say, and no one likes to feel erased.
So here is my take away on all of this: When people express
opinions that reflect the views of different political parties, or any opposing
view, our minds automatically and spontaneously assign them to rival alliances.
As far as our brains are concerned, an opposing view is more like membership in
a gang or clique, than viewed as a dispassionate philosophical stance. Social media has made it too easy for people to
hide behind their computers and post things they would never say face to face. In this blogger’s opinion, it is a waste of time to
discuss politics, as you’re not going to change someone’s political
beliefs on Facebook. You can debate and debate, but you’re just wasting your
time. People are different and believe different things. Accept it, agree to
disagree and move on. Life’s too short. Let
your vote be your voice. And remember the saying of our parents, “you
can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.”
And to quote Albert Einstein: “I believe that Gandhi’s views
were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time. We should strive
to do things in spirit: not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but in
not participating in anything you believe is evil.”
I thank you again for taking this retirement journey with me, or as I
refer to it, “my longest coffee break." I'm just sayin’…
