How do you know when is it time to move on and let it go?

This month’s blog topic was difficult for me to come up with, what with Father’s Day approaching and all the news about upcoming candidacies for President. All my thoughts seemed to be overshadowed by the terrorist attack in Florida, making me feel helpless, sad and angry. As I seemed to be obsessing over it, my BFF hubby kept saying get over it, let it go, move on. So I decided that would be this month’s topic. I apologize for the lack of humor, but it was a topic I felt needed to be touched upon.

 
   

 As I read the many postings on FB, listened to the posturing of our politicians, including the upcoming candidates and our President, I was appalled and amazed that people did not want to refer to it as a Terror attack. As I watched the grieving parents and all the funerals, well I decided I needed to get something off my chest.

Those who really know me, know why I have very strong opinions on Gun Control, however I will not discuss that topic with people as it is another that people are very passionate about. I also devoted an entire blog as to why you should not discuss politics on FB.  However, I got so disgusted at the direction the postings were taking and I just could not leave it alone, I had to comment and this is what I said…

“Ok I said I wouldn’t comment but after reading all the posts....well here goes....what happened in Orlando is not about gun control! What happened at the Pulse Night Club was not only a mass shooting but a terrorist attack! We are dealing with terrorism...an evil individual that targeted Gay Americans because of a warped Islam championed vision that both American and Gay are labels that warrant a violent death! It was a MONSTER who pledged his allegiance to an Islamic terrorist organization.....the solution to terrorism is not to blame the gun lobby but to fight and destroy terrorism both at home and abroad....gun control is a whole separate conversation....”

Everything going on was obviously affecting and bothering me. I know that I was not alone in this, as I could see and hear how it was affecting others.  We were all being constantly barraged by the media - on smart phones, Twitter, Facebook, television and the Wall Street Journal, and they were keeping the topic alive and always in our face.  All this is what led me to today’s blog topic: When is it time to move on and let it go?

Everyone says let it go, which only makes me want to scream, “Hello, you telling me to do that doesn’t make it happen, don’t you think I would stop thinking about all this if I could?” My mom used to tell me to just move on and get over it, let it go.

Eckhart Tolle tells us whenever negative things happen to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it. But I keep wondering what it is that makes a human being choose love over hate, understanding over anger, and belief over fear? Especially those victims of violent crimes, the unthinkable things we hear about on the news. I feel that it is an outrage that something like this can happen.  These type of tragic events shake me to my very core.  But I have decided to tell myself maybe we are not always supposed to know and understand the why.  I do believe there is a reason behind everything, which I know sounds cliché but I truly feel in my heart that there is something that has to and must be gained from this horrific tragedy.

I believe there is beauty in the human spirit, that we all have it in us to be pillars of strength and compassion and are an experiment in spiritual evolution.  I suppose that is the hippie coming out in me, as I believe in Karma, and as Eckhart Tolle tells us, it is not all the things that happen to you that your pain arises from, but your reaction to it. The experts tell us that pain invites us to grow. The first instinct of most of us is to shut ourselves off from the rest of the world.

 
       The experts tell us that life’s challenges, no matter how senseless they seem, are not supposed to paralyze us, they are supposed to help us to discover who we are.  Whenever we are faced with a personal tragedy, an act of terror, a natural disaster or genocide, joy and moving on just doesn’t seem like the correct response. It seems to me that expressing any joy after such an event mocks the tragedy.  The experts tell me this is not necessarily true. They say you experience not really joy, but a degree of openness and a sense of love. The experts tell us there are three reasons to bring joy quickly back into your life….REASON #1: Joy is your nature.  Joy flows from the same source as love and peace; it flows from your heart. Would you want to deny your loved ones your love and your peace? Of course not. Then please, don’t deny yourself your joy either. Don’t push it either. When sadness comes, allow your tears to flow. When joy comes, allow your smile to shine. That’s how it is supposed to be. It’s your nature; it’s who you are. Reason #2: Joy is your light. Joy is the light within. Would you want to deny your loved ones that light? Of course not. Then please, accept it for yourself as well. When it shines, you can see the path in front of you, even if it’s just one step ahead. One step at a time, toward light—isn’t that a fine way to respond to tragedy? Reason #3: Joy is your power.  The deep joy flowing within you is a healing force. Its warmth has the power to melt the inner paralysis. Its energy has the power to fuel your journey toward a life in alignment with your heart’s desire.  Would you want to deny your loved ones that? Of course not. Then don’t deny yourself the power of your joy either. Because your heart’s true desire is to live, and to feel joy.



I think we can all agree this sounds like great advice doesn’t it? But how? After tragedy, how do you even open your heart and mind to joy?  Well as I always do, I checked with the experts, and one of them told us to try some of these… 1. Spend time with children (there are children everywhere).  2. Discover something refreshing (or surprising).  3. Feel your body (you are a miracle of life).  4. Read a novel (fiction, stories, not the usual self-improvement stuff).  5. Travel (any distance).  6. Look for smiles in people’s faces (on the street and on TV).  7. Write thank you notes (to yourself too).  8. Create a rhythm for your daily life (simple things will do).  9. Exercise (in a way that makes you smile).  10. Help someone (with something you enjoy doing).  11. Find a color that makes you feel good (and wear it).  12. Enjoy your spiritual practice. (Enjoy!)  13. Spend time with nature (plants and pets are nature, too).  14. Do something creative (just for yourself).  15. Accept help from people (strangers, too).  16. Learn something new. (What have you always wanted to learn?).  17. Listen to music (and let your body move along).  18. Walk barefoot (slowly).  19. Savor simple pleasures.  20. Give yourself a break (in every sense of the word).  21. When you have a choice, choose joy.

 

I am not sure what my take away is on all this…..but I do like all of the above suggestions and if you are focusing on them, well I would think your mind would let go and allow you to move on.  Joy and living are always more preferable to me than being sad or depressed.  I am an eternal optimist and I love what the Dalai Lama says: “Moving towards better rather than moving away from bad is an attitude of embracing life rather than rejecting it.”  And, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

 It is this bloggers opinion that moving on comes with time and everyone has their own pace. Rushing moving on isn’t healthy, it’s not fair and it’s not kind. As I’m writing this blog, and thinking about all of the people from the Pulse Night Club, I would like to say, “First and foremost to the families and friends of the Orlando victims and really to anyone getting over something tragic in their lives, take your time. Move on when you are ready and move on only when YOU want to. You will eventually move on.”

Each morning we are born again. What we do TODAY is what matters most (Gandhi)……  I thank you again for taking this retirement journey with me, or as I refer to it, “my longest coffee break."  I'm just sayin’…

 

 

 Ramblings of a Retired Hippie

How do you know when is it time to move on and let it go?

This month’s blog topic was difficult for me to come up with, what with Father’s Day approaching and all the news about upcoming candidacies for President. All my thoughts seemed to be overshadowed by the terrorist attack in Florida, making me feel helpless, sad and angry. As I seemed to be obsessing over it, my BFF hubby kept saying get over it, let it go, move on. So I decided that would be this month’s topic. I apologize for the lack of humor, but it was a topic I felt needed to be touched upon.

 As I read the many postings on FB, listened to the posturing of our politicians, including the upcoming candidates and our President, I was appalled and amazed that people did not want to refer to it as a Terror attack. As I watched the grieving parents and all the funerals, well I decided I needed to get something off my chest.

Those who really know me, know why I have very strong opinions on Gun Control, however I will not discuss that topic with people as it is another that people are very passionate about. I also devoted an entire blog as to why you should not discuss politics on FB.  However, I got so disgusted at the direction the postings were taking and I just could not leave it alone, I had to comment and this is what I said…

“Ok I said I wouldn’t comment but after reading all the posts....well here goes....what happened in Orlando is not about gun control! What happened at the Pulse Night Club was not only a mass shooting but a terrorist attack! We are dealing with terrorism...an evil individual that targeted Gay Americans because of a warped Islam championed vision that both American and Gay are labels that warrant a violent death! It was a MONSTER who pledged his allegiance to an Islamic terrorist organization.....the solution to terrorism is not to blame the gun lobby but to fight and destroy terrorism both at home and abroad....gun control is a whole separate conversation....”

Everything going on was obviously affecting and bothering me. I know that I was not alone in this, as I could see and hear how it was affecting others.  We were all being constantly barraged by the media - on smart phones, Twitter, Facebook, television and the Wall Street Journal, and they were keeping the topic alive and always in our face.  All this is what led me to today’s blog topic: When is it time to move on and let it go?

Everyone says let it go, which only makes me want to scream, “Hello, you telling me to do that doesn’t make it happen, don’t you think I would stop thinking about all this if I could?” My mom used to tell me to just move on and get over it, let it go.

Eckhart Tolle tells us whenever negative things happen to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it. But I keep wondering what it is that makes a human being choose love over hate, understanding over anger, and belief over fear? Especially those victims of violent crimes, the unthinkable things we hear about on the news. I feel that it is an outrage that something like this can happen.  These type of tragic events shake me to my very core.  But I have decided to tell myself maybe we are not always supposed to know and understand the why.  I do believe there is a reason behind everything, which I know sounds cliché but I truly feel in my heart that there is something that has to and must be gained from this horrific tragedy.

I believe there is beauty in the human spirit, that we all have it in us to be pillars of strength and compassion and are an experiment in spiritual evolution.  I suppose that is the hippie coming out in me, as I believe in Karma, and as Eckhart Tolle tells us, it is not all the things that happen to you that your pain arises from, but your reaction to it. The experts tell us that pain invites us to grow. The first instinct of most of us is to shut ourselves off from the rest of the world.

The experts tell us that life’s challenges, no matter how senseless they seem, are not supposed to paralyze us, they are supposed to help us to discover who we are.  Whenever we are faced with a personal tragedy, an act of terror, a natural disaster or genocide, joy and moving on just doesn’t seem like the correct response. It seems to me that expressing any joy after such an event mocks the tragedy.  The experts tell me this is not necessarily true. They say you experience not really joy, but a degree of openness and a sense of love. The experts tell us there are three reasons to bring joy quickly back into your life….REASON #1: Joy is your nature.  Joy flows from the same source as love and peace; it flows from your heart. Would you want to deny your loved ones your love and your peace? Of course not. Then please, don’t deny yourself your joy either. Don’t push it either. When sadness comes, allow your tears to flow. When joy comes, allow your smile to shine. That’s how it is supposed to be. It’s your nature; it’s who you are. Reason #2: Joy is your light. Joy is the light within. Would you want to deny your loved ones that light? Of course not. Then please, accept it for yourself as well. When it shines, you can see the path in front of you, even if it’s just one step ahead. One step at a time, toward light—isn’t that a fine way to respond to tragedy? Reason #3: Joy is your power.  The deep joy flowing within you is a healing force. Its warmth has the power to melt the inner paralysis. Its energy has the power to fuel your journey toward a life in alignment with your heart’s desire.  Would you want to deny your loved ones that? Of course not. Then don’t deny yourself the power of your joy either. Because your heart’s true desire is to live, and to feel joy.

 

I think we can all agree this sounds like great advice doesn’t it? But how? After tragedy, how do you even open your heart and mind to joy?  Well as I always do, I checked with the experts, and one of them told us to try some of these… 1. Spend time with children (there are children everywhere).  2. Discover something refreshing (or surprising).  3. Feel your body (you are a miracle of life).  4. Read a novel (fiction, stories, not the usual self-improvement stuff).  5. Travel (any distance).  6. Look for smiles in people’s faces (on the street and on TV).  7. Write thank you notes (to yourself too).  8. Create a rhythm for your daily life (simple things will do).  9. Exercise (in a way that makes you smile).  10. Help someone (with something you enjoy doing).  11. Find a color that makes you feel good (and wear it).  12. Enjoy your spiritual practice. (Enjoy!)  13. Spend time with nature (plants and pets are nature, too).  14. Do something creative (just for yourself).  15. Accept help from people (strangers, too).  16. Learn something new. (What have you always wanted to learn?).  17. Listen to music (and let your body move along).  18. Walk barefoot (slowly).  19. Savor simple pleasures.  20. Give yourself a break (in every sense of the word).  21. When you have a choice, choose joy.

 

I am not sure what my take away is on all this…..but I do like all of the above suggestions and if you are focusing on them, well I would think your mind would let go and allow you to move on.  Joy and living are always more preferable to me than being sad or depressed.  I am an eternal optimist and I love what the Dalai Lama says: “Moving towards better rather than moving away from bad is an attitude of embracing life rather than rejecting it.”  And, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

 It is this bloggers opinion that moving on comes with time and everyone has their own pace. Rushing moving on isn’t healthy, it’s not fair and it’s not kind. As I’m writing this blog, and thinking about all of the people from the Pulse Night Club, I would like to say, “First and foremost to the families and friends of the Orlando victims and really to anyone getting over something tragic in their lives, take your time. Move on when you are ready and move on only when YOU want to. You will eventually move on.”

Each morning we are born again. What we do TODAY is what matters most (Gandhi)……  I thank you again for taking this retirement journey with me, or as I refer to it, “my longest coffee break."  I'm just sayin’…