I love the title of this blog; it is a funny way of
reminding us that life is short. It has
always been my philosophy that yesterday is a cancelled check, forget it, tomorrow
is a promissory note, don’t count on it, today is cash, spend it wisely.
The idea of being present is hard for most of us. Being aware of life as it is happening is
difficult, as we are so used to sacrificing living in pursuit of our goals. I worked hard in my life and after
experiencing much disappointment, I found that what I had been taught and was
doing, was exactly the opposite of what I should be doing! By adopting the philosophy of living in the
present, I was more able to achieve both my work and personal goals, with the
end result being that I was actually enjoying my life more. It turns out that being present actually allows
you to live your life to the fullest, enjoying your friends, family and yes, even
food more.
OK, let me stress here that I detest the word “multi-tasking.”
People, listen to me; you need to stop
trying to do this! Just do one thing, focus
on that one thing, and be present, even if it’s just cleaning the house. Zen proverb: "When walking, walk.
When eating, eat." multi-tasking is
the chant of corporate America; their claim is that it will increase
productivity, as they pile on more and more work. The reality is that it
doesn’t increase productivity! I can’t
tell you how many resumes I read that stated the candidate was excellent at
multitasking. They even put this in
employee reviews, seriously! Society actually
believes that being an expert at multitasking is the new cure-all for
productivity. Unfortunately a fact that I
believe has been deeply ingrained in all of us.
According to David Meyer, a cognitive
scientist at the University of Michigan: "When you perform multiple tasks
that each require some of the same channels of processing, conflicts will arise
between the tasks, and you're going to have to pick and choose which task
you're going to focus on and devote a channel of processing to it." Translation - focus on one task. Counter to common belief, you can't do two
complicated tasks at once, and according to Meyers: When you're on the phone
and writing an e-mail at the same time, you're actually switching back and
forth between them, since there's only one mental and neural channel through
which language flows. "If you have a complicated task, it requires all
your attention, and if you're trying to spread your attention over multiple
tasks, it's not going to work." You
crash and burn, doing neither task well.
I know, I know, this is nonconformist thinking in today’s time-urgent
world. But take it from someone who
crashed and burned trying to do this, you will fail, mistakes will be made, and
in the end the only one who loses is you.
If you want to be creative then you must set aside large pieces of time
where you just think. As Meyer’s says,
"Einstein was not multitasking when he was dreaming up the special and
general theories of relativity." Us
old hippies called this meditating. Interesting,
huh?
In order to live in the moment you must look for the
beauty in everyday activities, which I confess, requires concentration, and the
most important part of all, participation. Most people have the tendency to
treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome,
rather than just taking a deep breath and letting it be…. just breathe and
realize that life actually unfolds in the present! Live in the moment, which I
am told, also is called mindfulness. When you become mindful, you realize that
you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts without
judging them.
I remember a time when I was sitting at
work just waiting in anticipation for my upcoming vacation, only to finally be
on vacation and find that I was stressing about my job and the work piling up. What we do is dwell on meddlesome memories of
the past and stress about what may or may not happen in the future, thus allowing
our thoughts to control us and suck the life and joy out of the moment.
Kabat-Zinn, a biomedical scientist states, “To find the
sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause,
and to rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being." I’m sure you’re thinking she’s crazy, how
can I do that? Well, for myself I found
that I needed to be less self-conscience when trying new things. To worry less about what people would think
about me and as Nike says, “Just do it!”
Stop caring about not winning the marathon, or that you’re not the best
dancer, singer, etc. Let go of the silly
drama, stop making it a self-esteem issue, stop beating yourself up and being
so critical. Just get in the moment and
enjoy! I also found that if I set myself small attainable goals, such as
sharing my thoughts in a blog, or learning that next dance step, or learning a
new song, or planting that new butterfly garden, my self-consciousness
evaporates. Are you with me so
far?
In my journey, I discovered the most
important thing I could do for myself was to stop worrying about the future and
just savor the present. I realized that I
got so caught up in the future, I forget to experience the now. I am quite sure we have all been guilty
of worrying about something that hasn’t yet happened or might not happen at all,
only to discover this worry did nothing but cause us depression and anxiety. Worry, by its very nature, means thinking
about the future. It is so very
important to live in the now because most negative thoughts revolve
around the past or the future. As Mark
Twain said, "I have known a great many troubles, but most of them
never happened." As I have grown
wiser, my way of saying older, <Grin> I have discovered that if I focus
on the present moment, whether it just be savoring my Starbucks chai tea,
working in my garden, or hanging out with my grandkids, the worrying simply dissolves
away!
In my retirement journey, I found that the real success in
making the most of my time (the jury is still out on whether this happened by
choice or it “just happened”) <Grin>, was
losing track of time. This means I was totally absorbed in the moment, call
it a senior moment if you must, but for me it is the secret of living in the
now. Sometime just observe the young
children as they dance around singing their silly songs and enjoying what they
are doing right then, not caring about how they look or what anyone else
thinks, not seeking approval, just enjoying what they are doing, that’s living
in the now.
I have often heard my daughter advising my grandkids, during
a moment, whether it be strife or sadness, “OWN IT!” Great
advice; if something is bothering you, you should move toward it, rather than
away from it, accept that it’s OK to feel sad or mad and that some things are
beyond our control, and so you embrace it.
Let me clarify, this is not resignation; it is accepting and allowing
yourself to feel sad, mad, embarrassed and then moving on to something
else. I would call that simply acceptance.
<Grin>
I really love what
Groucho Marx said on this subject, “I, not events, have the power to make me
happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead;
tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be
happy in it.” That's what I believe, when you get up each day you simply choose your attitude!
On that note I shall leave you with my final thoughts; the
hippie in me says if you want inner peace, well being and happiness, meditate! My wish
for you is that as you're reading this, you're living in the moment,
remembering that nothing has to happen next.
And if you take nothing else away
from this, remember living in the now is not a destination, this is it, and
you’re already there.
I thank you again for taking this retirement journey with me, or "my
longest coffee break." I'm just sayin’….
